A Heart of Imperfection
Written in honor of
Rabbi Gedaliah Fleer
Once there was a man who sought to repair all the imperfections of his own heart, by seeing only the perfections within his own being. He did this through prayer and meditation. Yet each time he ascended towards his perceived perfection of himself, he lost himself. Despite his great ability he was limited to seeking out only “perfection”. Yet the closer he would get towards his own heart, the more he would find only shadows and doubt. For years he struggled for an answer to this dilemma. Yet no matter the depth he went to in his Prayer, or study, he could not see how to repair the imperfections within his own heart.
Finally in despair he walked into a Garden and by lay down by an Ancient Tree. Lying there he began listening to his own heartbeat and soon he fell into a deep sleep by a river of quiet waters. There he lay and within the sound of his own heart, there he began to dream. In the dream he ascended towards the Heavenly Realms and soon he began to hear a voice speaking through the rhythms of his own heartbeat. Then he recognized the voice. It was the voice of his old teacher Reb Nachman. His mind filled with a great joy! For he realized it must be Divine Assistance, sent to him from G-d, the Master of All Worlds. He thought, G-d is allowing me to speak to my teacher from the Gates of Heaven. He then saw Reb Nachman!!! Excitedly he asked Reb Nachman, “Dear teacher, I have followed all your principles to the letter. I am trying to perfect, and repair, the imperfections and shortcomings within my own heart. I have tried to live a life of perfection seeking only the perfect and the Light. If I could only see my heart in its perfect state!!! What concept, great teacher, am I missing?” Reb Nachman looked at him softly and then began to speak. Yet as Reb Nachman spoke, the man could not understand what the Reb Nachman was saying. He heard his former teachers words, as imperfect, though he could see Reb Nachman was speaking clearly to him in words of Divine Light.
Soon the man began to feel faint, and he began to feel as if he were descending, and he began to awake from his dream, but just before he awoke he deciphered part of what Reb Nachman had said, that, if you “could know all the possible imperfections and shortcomings of a given thing, then you would also know the exact makeup and appearance of that same thing in its perfect state, even though you had never seen it before.”
The man awoke and finally he understood, from Reb Nachman’s words, that the greatest challenge of all is not seeking perfections, but dealing with the imperfections that cover the Hidden Light within. He therein understood the challenge of each and every one of G-d’s Created Souls: To understand, not the perfection, but to understand, and deal with, the imperfection that needs to be lifted, and transformed, back into the Divine Sparks they once were, to not destroy the shadows and demons within, but to elevate them back into a state of the Divine. He then remembered what another great teacher understood, the Baal Shem Tov: that even the heart of evil is in pain and longs to be transformed back into Light.
And then, the words of Reb Nachman, the other words which he could not understand in his dream, became clear to him saying…
If you can’t see the shadowed flaw
you know not, where is G-d’s Light
for the challenge before each man
is to deal with darkness
and lift each fallen Shell to Light
If you see not what you are
and see only your imagined need
you will not understand the difference
between what’s real and just fantasy
For knowing the imperfections
and the shortcomings of a given thing
you will Understand it’s makeup
and it’s perfection you will repair and bring
So when you look deep within
and see the shadow that holds the Sparks
you will see G-d’s Perfect Imperfection
and YOU’LL KNOW HOW TO REPAIR THE FALLEN SPARKS!!!
You’ll understand the essence
the truth of what’s covered up, hearts torn apart
and YOU will gather, and raise the Light
you will re-piece ALL THE BROKEN PARTS!!!!
Our world returned back to ONE
the Inner Essence of G-d’s Heart
the challenge for all to face
the perfect imperfections to fix the heart
seeing ALL G-d’s Perfect Imperfection
to the One
Eric Sander Kingston & Family